Bleeding Wrists
by TanukiGirl22
Summary: A look into the scene in "Run Yahiko! Get Back the Reverse-Blade Sword!" (eps 18) from Yahiko's POV. As he rund to the battle scene, he begins to see thigns a little clearer. Pls R&R, I promise it's better than this summary.


**Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin isn't mine, and neither is the underappreciated character I'm writing from.  Most spoken lines are from the episode this is based on, "Run Yahiko! Get Back the Reverse-Blade Sword"

*Note: about half of this is thoughts, which is _in italics_

Bleeding Wrists

I grabbed the sword and ran.  My feet were pounding the ground and my wrists were bleeding, but I didn't care at all.  All that mattered was getting the sakabatou back to Kenshin.

_Kenshin, you can't die yet! That's the last this you deserve to do.  There's still more people in this world you can help.  After all, you helped all of us.  You helped Kaoru get rid of Gohei, you helped Sano let go of his hatred, and you helped Megumi escape Kanryuu and start her career as a doctor.  And you rescued me from the Yakuza and gave me a place to study swordsmanship and become stronger.  You will never know how much that really meant to me._

_When I first saw you on the street with that sword, I thought you wore that just to make yourself look tough, and that you thought yourself above everyone else.  But when you told me I was grown up inside, that got me to rebel against the Yakuza.  It didn't exactly turn out as I planned, and they nearly killed me.  But then you showed up and got me out of there when even Kaoru couldn't; you gave me a home and a way to get stronger.  But most of all, you gave me a family.  If you die, it'll hurt all of us.  Megumi and Sano will try to hide it as much as they can, but it'll still hurt them.  Ayame and Suzume will cry so hard, because they lost their "Ken-nii."  Kaoru, she'll be devastated. If you haven't noticed, she really loves you; not just a little crush, but she really loves you more than anything.  If you die, she'll never be the same; she'd lose her reason to live.  It'll hurt me too, because it'll be my fault that you died._

I cut to the town to meet the river to save time.  My heart was pounding and my side felt like someone stuck a knife in it.  My wrists still bled.

"Hey! Kid!"

Two policemen stopped me in the middle of the street.

_Oh yeah, swords are illegal now.  I must look pretty suspicious running around town carrying a sword.  Maybe that's why everyone on the street left._

"Where did you get that sword," the first one asked.  "If you tell us now without giving us any trouble, we'll let you go."  They started coming closer; the first had his hand out to take the sakabatou.  I held it tighter and my knuckles when white.

"I'll ask you again.  Where did you get that sword?" he said more forcefully.

"Don't you know that swords are illegal?" the other one asked.

"Stay back!  I've gotta hurry up with this!"  I didn't have time for this; every second that passes by, Kenshin could be in even more danger.   I backed up slowly, looking for any chance to run.

"You're not getting off just because you're a kid."

"Hand over the sword."  I kept backing away.  "Hand it over!"  I saw it: a narrow alley that led to the river.  One of the policemen tried to grab me.  That was my chance.  I ducked under his arm and ran as hard as I could to the river.  "Hold it!  I said hold it!"  There was no way I was gonna let anyone die.  I jumped as high as I could into the river.  My wrists stung from the water; the current swept me up and I reached the surface.

"Come back here!"  The current was pulling me farther and farther away from the two policemen.  "You're not getting away!"

I sank again, pulled by the weight of the sword.  It felt different from before.  This wasn't the raw weight of the metal anymore.  It was the weight of guilt.

_This is Kenshin's guilt… I understand now.  That was why he's been trying to hard to save everyone.  It's like this sword is being pulled down by the souls of all of the people he's killed.  He must feel this weight every time he picks up his sakabatou.  As Hitokiri Battousai, he must have killed a lot of people, but I never felt what it was like until now._

I finally rose to the surface and to in a huge breath.  I opened my eyes and saw Gohei's large shadow.  _He must be there!_  I kicked to a shallow part of the river and ran up the riverbank.

"Kenshin!"

"It's the brat!" Gohei shouted.  "How'd you get here?"  I kept running.  He stepped in front of me and pulled a katana out of his umbrella.  Without thinking, I slid the sword in my belt and pulled out the sakabatou.  My wrists still bled and I was struggling to hold up the sakabatou.  It was heavy, but not from the weight of the metal, and it wasn't Kenshin's guilt either.  

_It's my guilt.  It's been my guilt all along; I just never figured it out until now. There were no souls attached to this blade, it was the people I stole money from; they're pulling it down.  This must be what Kenshin goes through every time he fights with this sword._

"Oh no, you're not gonna get in the way!  I lat you call it a draw on purpose before to boost your ego, but I won't this time."

"Yea, c'mon," I snapped.  I needed to get past him fast.

"Your stance is weak, boy!"  He slashed at me; I barely jumped out of the way.  "When someone holds a real sword for the first time," he kept swinging his katana, "they'll see for themselves," he prepared to swing down, "it's not like a wooden one!"  I caught the blade on the sakabatou and tried to hold it up.

"Yahiko!" I heard Kaoru shout.  It brought back all of those lessons, all of the training, and all of her lectures.

"Using your opponent's strength to the fullest… it's not strength versus strength," I repeated Kaoru's lesson.  I released the katana and Gohei fell under his own weight.  I slid under and kneed his groin.  He cried with pain, but I was already gone.

"Kenshin!" I shouted.

"Yahiko!"

"Kenshin!" I heard Kaoru yell.  I saw why, there was someone coming at him with numchuks.  I threw the sakabatou to Kenshin as hard as I could.  He caught it easily and cut himself free.  I stopped, too exhausted to help; my sides hurt and my wrists were bleeding.  Besides, I knew Kenshin would be able to handle himself.  By the time I caught my breath, the two people who were attacking him were down.  

"You did it, Kenshin!"  He stood up without looking at me.  My guilt finally caught up to me.

"Kenshin, sorry about the sakabatou.  I put you in danger because of that.  I- I don't know what to say."  I felt tears that I didn't' know I was holding back.  "It was just like you said, Kenhsin; my ego got to me.  I thought I could do so much, but I was wrong!"

"Yahiko," he answered.  I looked up.  "If you finally understand what I said, then you're a full grown man now, de gozaru."  There was nothing I could say to that.  I finally let those tears fall as I cried, right there, in front of everyone.  I felt his arm on my back, like he was forgiving me without words.

_He forgave me… I nearly got him killed, but he still forgave me.  No questions asked; he just accepted my answer.  He's more than just a friend; he's like a second father._

My wrists finally stopped bleeding.

**A/N: "How was that?" –Misao, in case you didn't know. Really, how was it? Oh, before I forget and before you ask questions, this is not yaoi at all.  It's simply Yahiko caring for the man who acts like a father to him, so don't start griping at me that you think I made it yaoi, just watch the episode.  This was based on "Run Yahiko! Get Back the Reverse-Blade Sword" (eps 18) from the part where he's running though the bamboo grove until the end, basically at the part where Kaoru sees his wrists are cut (CN cuts all the blood out!), not from the part where he was trying to cut the ropes and he had all of those flashbacks, since you get a pretty good idea of what he was thinking there.  I wanted to make Yahiko more insightful that what you normally see.  And the thing about a "second father" was kind of in reference to how his father was a Tokyo Samurai who died fighting for his beliefs.  I hope I kept him in character, I really had to be careful of the words I used because I highly doubt the Yakuza gave him an education and if I'm not mistaken, it's not too long after they first met, maybe a few months, so he wouldn't know big words like egotistical and other things like that.  Hope you enjoyed it! Arigatou to my beta-reader, SamuraiX Koneko, and to all of you for reading!

-nii- a way of saying 'big brother', Ken-nii is the Gensai girls' nickname for Kenshin, it's Uncle Kenny in English

sakabatou- reverse-blade sword (in real history, it was used to cut crops!)

hitokiri- assassin, hired assassin, or in CN's words, a manslayer

Battousai- I won't bother, you should know

De gozaru- it's that 'that it is' or 'that you are (in this case)' that Kenshin always tags to the end of his sentences, and it's over a hundred years old and no longer used in modern Japanese

* I have been told by my beta-reader that the fight scene was too short, but I didn't want to really illustrate it. One, I'm not good with fight scenes, and two, this was meant for Yahiko to grow up a little bit more on the inside, not for him to have a fantastic battle scene.  Arigatou for reading!


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